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Day One

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stacia
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Day One

 

It was a very long travel day for everyone. Four mentors and one camper have yet to make it. Sometimes we think about the fact that Montana is so far, but the empowerment of traveling independently is so valuable. Paige had never flown and was nervous, but was laughing and having a blast acting out a skit tonight. Sharon, Jared and I had a long talk tonight. He is really wonderful and I think will be fine. Call me tomorrow. There are a couple of shy people, but everyone has seemed to have found at least one partner. Message me if you have individual questions.

Tomorrow morning we are going to begin working on public service announcements. The cabin chat tomorrow is Initiating friendships and maintaining friendship. Look forward to hearing from you.

Wynnie
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Thanks for the update.  I'm glad most have paired up.  The chat today on friendship will be valuable!  Can't wait to hear the analysis.

sharlyng
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Thank you for the update. I will call you today. I know how hard this was for him, but I ultimately think that this is where he needs to be. Sharon

 

ccoutts
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hi stacia and mom and dads

thank you for the share. as veterans with this trip, we know morgan is having a blast already. she has a solid group of friends that she knows from past trips but is looking forward to meeting new friends.

love the updates...keep them coming.

cheryl

stacia
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Tonight our first cabin chat is about making and keeping friends. What are the barriers? What works for you and what doesn't? reading and giving social cues. While I can come up with lots of examples from the survivors I know, it would be really helpful to hear from you. There are several older males and females here who this is not necessarily an issue for. Luckily they can still relate and help lead the discussion. 

They are filing their public service brain tumor awareness announcements right now, so we have a couple of hours to get examples. Please let me know of anything you can think of.

Thanks again for sharing your wisdom and teens with us for the week. I am a lucky person to get to know and reconnect with such a great group!

lisakrat
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Hi Stacia and everyone else,

Glad to hear everyone's having fun.  I spoke to Kyle quickly last night and he sounded happy (exhausted but happy).  He has warned me NOT to call the camp like I did last year and I have agreed.  I know he is in very good hands :)

Making friends is SO hard for Kyle.  He doesnt know how to ask questions of others and stay interested in what THEY'RE interested in.  He wants to talk about himself a lot - - and if friends want to comment on what's he's talking about then great.  But if not, he kinda dismisses them.  This drives my husband and I CRAZY!!!  He relates so much better to adults (maybe b/c they give him that chance to talk about himself) but has very few friends.  I watched him in the airport when we got there and the other Kyle from last year was standing right there, so I said "Oh...Kyle, there's Kyle from last summer, why dont you say hi".  And he said "Mom, please, I'm 14 years old"..............He has no idea he isnt doing the right thing.......

So.....my suggestion would be to somehow help these teens understand about what a conversation really is.....the back and forth.....giving the other person a chance to talk.......asking a question the next day about something the person might have told you the day before.......learning to be selfless (which I know is so hard for kids in general).  As Kyle approaches the high school years, the topic of making new friends worries me tremendously.

As always, Stacia, thank you for the updates and for asking for our input.  Anxious to hear how the cabin chats go tonight.........

Lisa

ccoutts
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Hi while morgan has a great group of friends and is getting better at social cues (still needs work, bbut better) she doesn't use social media to initiate or keep up with friendships. Todays teens use fb and other media all the time to keep up with what is going on...we find morgan misses out on many things her friends are organizing or talking about because they r not going to call but instead make a post about it on fb. I also think fb could be a great place for morgan to socialize additionally because she could takke her time to "digest" the social cues that come across on the page rather than trying to keep up with the quips and "busting" around when she is with her friends in person. Just some thoughts. Cheryl
ccoutts
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Stacia..additionally...lisa's comments about kkeeping a conversation going is GREAT. We do see similair behavior in morgan. She can easily tell others what she is up to, but has a hard time to remember to ask and then pull out information of what is happen in others lives. Great point lisa. Cheryl
lisakrat
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Cheryl and all,

First of all - hi!!!  Missed you guys at the airport, we were running late.  Hope to def see you on the return flight and catch up more.  I like your idea of keeping up with friends on Facebook.  Kyle doesnt have a Facebook account yet....he's been asking for one but I've been slow to say yes.  I like that while socializing on line, our kids can take the time to "digest" information and respond more appropriately.  I think I will definitely let him set up an account once he gets home. 

LOVE this parents chat group.  This is exactly what I need to navigate through parenting my teenager!!

 

 

JenC
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Hi All,

I have noticed that Instagram is very popular among Carolyn's school friends -- maybe even more popular than Facebook. Most of them have language-based learning disabilities, so I think the format -- a picture with one or two line comment -- may be a bit easier for them. Pictures of pets seem to be very popular. Carolyn seems to do better socializing online than in person!

Jen

apfisterbrown
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You all have been very busy while I have been trying to take in all that everyone has said. A couple of things....I am a high school guidance counselor who has stated numerous times throughout the years that teenagers are completely self-absorbed. As frustrating as it is to witness with our children, it is a trait that most adolescents have. Honestly, I think we probably all have witnessed adults within our own peer groups who still possess that trait.

Due to technology, I have seen how children do not have the "extensive or more advanced" communication skills that I would like to believe we have. They are being brought up with the mentality of doing things fast because fast is better. Carefully selecting words is difficult....I am sure that our kids think it is another challenge. Trying to get them to embrace each challenge becomes the trick...the real challenge. Although Tori understands this and will state herself about embracing challenges, it is EXHAUSTING. In the end, it is worth it as I have seen it with her throughout high school.

When the kids have the opportunity to express themselves, whether it be through essays, creative writing, emails, resumes, they should do it and then ask for help in the review of what they have done. Parents are a great resource; however, teens may be reluctant to want their help. Then, the teens need to seek assistance from counselors and teachers. You may need to lay the ground work. Since Tori attended the same high school where I work, it was a challenge for me to approach those who needed to step up to the challenge. As colleagues, I had to "communicate" to them in such a way as to enlist them on "our team" rather than state that they could be doing a better job.

This note may be too late to read to help with the group discussions tonight, but I would like to throw out there that if kids can get a "nugget" to begin a conversation, that would be a great start--no better way than to begin with the latest news either school based, local, national, or world. For instance....how did you like the Opening Ceremonies at the Olympics? Do you think our basketball team will get to the states this year? For girls....it's easy to ask about where someone got that pretty dress or shirt? "Did it come in any other colors"? For guys....those are cool (sick) sunglasses? Where'd you get them? Or their shoes/sneakers?

This camp is a wonderful experience. When Tori attended it the first year, she came back with more confidence than ever. Only good things happen here. I will forever be grateful to CBTF, Stacia and all who make this happen, especially all of the campers who share their life stories. 

nancylexie
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I hope Lexie is finding friends there. This is a tough area for her.

Thanks for updates !!!

alice

nancylexie
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Thank you Stacia for finding time to talk about BT friends who are not doing well....This is something most of our /BT teens will have to face over and over again...so thanks ...

alice

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